K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
