if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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