Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
