To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
