I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Pants are for mortals
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
