these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
