I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The power of my boobs compel you
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
