i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
