Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
