Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
