Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
