why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
