i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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