Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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