i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
