so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
