Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
