Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
