How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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