Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize