Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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