Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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