So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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