Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
