you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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