my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
