His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
