im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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