Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
