i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
