Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
