At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
