if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
