When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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