Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she looked like the before picture.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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