I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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