Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
where are my eyebrows?
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