The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
