He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
