Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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