don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize