What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
