hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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