dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
