i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
