I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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