her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
