did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
