ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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