her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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