Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
