Non-Jews are for practice
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
