My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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