please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
