Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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