dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
