Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
