have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
