You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
