i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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