just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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