handjob tips. give me some.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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