Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
