You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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